10 Effective Ways to Communicate with a Right-Brained Person by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach
Right-brained folks process randomly and holistically, are intuitive, subjective, and look at the whole, not parts. They rely on nonverbal means of communication such as gestures and expressions, and generally read it well. They’re likely to pay more attention to the tone of your voice and the gist of the communication rather than the meaning of the actual words used.
P.S. Whether you’re left-brain dominant, or right-brain dominant, you can get into “whole brain thinking” when you develop your Emotional Intelligence. Then you have more options, more tools in the arsenal, so to speak.
Go here: http://www.ipn.at/ipn.asp?BHX to take a free online Brain Dominance Test.
1.TELL THEM WHAT TO DO, NOT HOW TO DO IT.
SAY: “Welcome aboard. Glad you’re my new Marketing Direction. I want so many new members this year we have to build an additional wing.”
DO NOT SAY: “Welcome aboard. Glad you’re my new Marketing Director. I want a 25% increase in membership by November One and here’s how I want you to do it. A monthly newsletter, 2 more direct mails per month … “
2.DON’T BE OVERLY FASTIDIOUS ABOUT DETAILS, OR BELABOR POINTS, I.E., NO NEED TO DO THE I’S AND CROSS THE T’S..
SAY: “Set up a meeting for the 4 of them – nice place, food, music … you know the drill.”
DON’T SAY: “Set up a meeting for the 4 of them. I want a catered box lunch. Make it low carb, tuna or chicken, no bread …“
SAY: “Order a new printer for yourself but don’t spend too much.”
DO NOT SAY: “Order a new printer for yourself. Get a ProMax, $200 at the most. 5 features. Oh, and get it from Office Max. In fact, get it from Harry. Here’s his number.”
3.USE COLORFUL LANGUAGE, METAPHORS, HUMOR.
SAY: “Okay, team, we’re pitching to the MiniPro Co. on Friday. I want a killer presentation. No holds barred. All the bells and whistles.”
DO NOT SAY: “We’re presenting a proposal to the MiniPro Co. on Friday. Bill, please pull all the figures from May of 2003. Mary, prepare a PowerPoint showing the trend over the last 6 months. Katerina, copy the exact format we used for …”
SAY: “How was it? Usual Dog and Pony Show.”
DO NOT SAY: “How was it? The meeting was called to order promptly at 6 p.m. Harrison Borring presided…”
SAY: “Get that apartment filled up. I want that owner grinning from ear-to-ear. Stand naked on a street corner if you have to.”
DO NOT SAY: “Get that apartment up to 80%. This is crucial to the …”
4.PAY MORE ATTENTION TO HOW YOU SAY IT THAN WHAT YOU SAY, I.E., TONE, RHYTHM AND PITCH OF VOICE.
SAY: “Mary, [pause, soften tone] that last report was great, but… There’s just one thing I’d add [raise tone, become enthusiastic] – more exciting language, more drama. Get ‘em on the edge of their seats! That beginning was dynamite. When you start Part II, make it smooooother [use hand gestures, smooth tone]. Now go after it! (clap hands, pop!) You’re the greatest!”
DO NOT SAY: “There are some points I need to make about your last report. Starting on page 2, second paragraph, line 10, your logic here was faulty …”
5.BE GENERAL, AND REFER TO INTUITION. LOGIC AND AUTHORITY ARE NOT BIG WINNERS FOR THE RIGHT-BRAINED.
SAY: I stayed home because I was sick. I didn’t want to give it to everyone else.
DO NOT SAY: I stayed home because the doctor said I had strep throat and told me not to go to work.
SAY: I know he’s the perfect candidate. How do I know? Intuition
DO NOT SAY: I know he’s the perfect candidate. How do I know? He meets all 6 of the key criteria outlined in Foster’s “A Rational Guide to Choosing the Right Person for the Right Job.”
6.TALK ABOUT THE FOREST, NOT THE TREES; THE WHOLE, NOT THE PARTS.
SAY: “Give me a summary. Just the big picture. Ballpark figures, hit the high points. Something that’ll convince the Board.”
DO NOT SAY: “Prepare a prospectus for the Board. Start with financial projections. Be exact. Then ….”
7.BE EMOTIONALLY EXPRESSIVE. IF NOT, BECAUSE THEY READ ‘NONVERBAL’ WELL, THEY’LL BE GUESSING, AND THEY MAY GUESS WRONG.
SAY: “You got him to agree to it? Sally, I love you! You’re the best thing since sliced bread.”
DO NOT SAY: “You got him to agree to it? Good. Now please prepare …”
SAY: “I liked your report.”
DO NOT SAY: “Your report met or exceeded my criteria.”
8.SKIPPING AROUND IS FINE. LOOSE REFERENCES ARE FINE. THEY’LL FOLLOW THE BREAD CRUMB TRAIL.
SAY: “Darling, I’d get the blue one. She liked it the best, remember? Oh! And did I tell you, Sam just got engaged … “
DO NOT SAY: “Darling, I’d get the blue dress for Sam’s party. Mary, the PR person we met at Ringold’s, liked it the best.”
9.TO CONVINCE, BUILD YOUR CASE WITH EMOTION, NOT LOGIC AND REASON.
SAY: “Tom, if you get me that diamond necklace, I’ll melt. I mean I’ll be all over you like a wet skivvy. Your wish will be my command.”
DO NOT SAY: “90% of the women in a recent survey said that …”
SAY: Son, marry that girl. I like her.
DO NOT SAY: Son, marry that girl. She’s the logical choice.
10. LONG, CONVOLUTED COMPOUND-COMPLEX SENTENCES ARE FINE, WITH ADJECTIVES, ADVERBS, METAPHOR AND GILDING OF THE LILY. IT HOLS THEIR INTEREST.
SAY: “We agreed to spend the weekend at a cabin in the Catskills. He was sure it would solve The Problem, hold that thought – The Problem; and when we arrived, I felt like the German soldiers must have arriving on the Russian front, or maybe more like Napoleon (what really defeated Napoleon, you know, was the Russian winter. Well, now they’re saying it was because the buttons on the soldier’s overcoats disintegrated in the cold), anyway it was cold, grey, dark -- I know you’re waiting for the punch line here – the problem, oh yes, The Problem (hand to brow). Well actually it was that HE was like the Russian winter … cold, foreboding, gloomy, and I, like the German soldiers, or the French before them ….cold doesn’t work. Talk about pathetic fallacy …
DO NOT SAY: We agreed to spend the weekend at a cabin in the Catskills. He wanted to work on our relationship. It was cold. He was cold. It didn’t work.
About the Author
©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, internet courses, teleclasses and ebooks around Emotional Intelligence. I train and certify EQ coaches. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for info on this comprehensive, fast, affordable, no-residency program. For free EQ ezine, email me and put “ezine” for subject line.
